ShadowTail

Dave. I once lived in Teddington and found it an overwhelmingly ordinary place to live. It is so ordinary that I’m almost positive that it is completely devoid of anything even remotely interesting. Teddington has 3 claims to fame: it is that it is home to the longest lock on the River Thames; it is the birth place of low-carb, talent-free actress Keira Knightly; and someone with a passing resemblance to Phil Collins was seen driving down the high street sometime during 1996. Anyway, the point I am trying to make is that Teddington is so extraordinarily ordinary that it makes my tale so much more unordinary. My tale starts on a particu

The Monkey with Many Hats. I have not told this story to many people. It is a strange story and not everyone would believe it. The only people who would believe it, in fact, would most probably be as mad as a bag of weasels. It all started one summer afternoon. I was relaxing on a cheap B&Q sun-lounger watching the sun slide across the sky in the pleasant company of a pack of Lucky Strike and a few tequila sunrises. Suddenly I felt a chill as a figure loomed over me blocking out the sun. I took off my sunglasses and was about to tell the offending person to kindly move his backside before he found my foot up it, but I was struck dumb by wha

The Scare of Your Life... Boo! .

The Mouse and the Clock. "What's the time?" the mouse asked the clock. The clock looked down at the mouse and sighed irritably. "Time" spoke the clock through his brush-like moustache, "is my business. And my business is my business".  The clock spoke brusquely in a voice befitting a head teacher or retired major, "You, my boy, are a mouse; a simple rodent; Mus musculus in the Latin." "Oh" said the mouse meekly. More meekly than a mouse in fact, for if a man may be said to be as meek as a mouse then surely a mouse itself must be capable of achieving far higher levels of meekness. "Oh indeed" , the clock twitched it's moustache in a way th

The Funeral The sun barely peaked over the horizon when they left. The last car slowly drove away taking the last of the teary-eyed with it. I stood and walked to where the others had been standing and crying but moments before. I had waited for the others to leave before I dared approach, until then I had stayed far enough away to not be recognised. I stopped and stood facing the stone for a few minutes, my eyes slowly tracing the letters of the name engraved upon it. A single tear formed in the corner of my eye as I spoke that name. I stood and waited for the tear to complete its journey, crashing to the earth. I stood and waited for them